Hi Lucy, i do feel for you and have been reflecting on your post. I too work in the hospitality industry, albeit only renting out a small apartment in my home ( i do all the cleaning and laundry which is not unenjoyable making it nice for guests but also a little taxing by the time mid August comes around). Actually, i can afford to hold off on a few weeks’ let in this season because i can find that some people can be ***holes! It has also given me a chance to get on top of the mould which usually runs rampant when i keep the heating off in summer and condensation doesn’t evaporate. I could inform your guests who complain that it usually takes a strong application of unpleasant -smelling bleach over a 12 hour application! Hey ho…. ‘Complainers’ are rare and it is usually to do with their own sad and constrained lives not about you…
Then, as i was contemplating the difficulties of life, up comes a directive from a fb friend who made me see it in a different light so i thought i would share the spiel with you…..
"We don’t have to go to Tibet or into a war zone to practice in a charnel ground.
"The charnel ground is a metaphor for any environment where suffering is present—a Japanese hospital, a school room, a violent home, a mental institution, a homeless shelter, a refugee camp. Even a space of privilege, like the corporate boardroom or Wall Street trading floor, can be a charnel ground. Really, any place that is tainted by fear, depression, anger, despair, disrespect, or deceit is a charnel ground—including our own mind...
When we suffer within our own internal charnel ground, we are vulnerable to pathological altruism, empathic distress, moral suffering, disrespect, and burnout. But when we take a wider and deeper view, we see that a charnel ground is not only a place of desolation but also a place of boundless possibility.
My colleague Fleet Maull, who was incarcerated for 14 years on charges of drug trafficking, compares his experience of practicing meditation in prison to practicing in a charnel ground. The prison is a tough practice environment, one where greed, hatred, and delusion are the order of the day. Yet this charnel ground proved something to him.
In his book Dharma in Hell, Fleet Maull writes,
“I’m thoroughly convinced after spending fourteen years in prison with murderers, rapists, bank robbers, child molesters, tax dodgers, drug dealers and every sort of criminal imaginable, that the fundamental nature of all human beings is good. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind .”
~ Joan Halifax
Good times and bad, we go with ourselves everywhere.. We can’t avoid these waves but can we ride through them with equanimity? I honestly don’t know. Maybe it means exclaiming with joy or frustration and then move on? You’ve got a goal and working to a plan and…. September is fast approaching! Wishing you smooth sailing for the rest of the year anyway.🙏😘
Hi Isabelle, thank you for the thoughtful and detailed comment, I always look forward to hearing your thoughts 😊 It sounds like we're in really similar situations, fortunately 99% of my apartment guests are lovely and respectful, it's the guests who rent our camper van who are more likely to be a nightmare! It flips between worthwhile and not at all so often. I love the quote from your friend, a lot of food for thought there. I think I always imagined I would choose my own charnel ground, as in facing epic challenges, but then realising I find the most difficulty in the stationary and mundane everyday life difficulties, or realising I've entrapped myself in something that was supposed to be freeing. There's always something to learn from a situation, even if it's just that you never want to repeat it! And there are many different types of charnel ground as you say, even the most unexpected. We're hoping to end the summer with a camping trip and perhaps a good old scream into the void on the beach to release the summer tension! I hope your apartment continues to do well and September is kind to you 💙
Thank you! I’m so glad you can relate (and also sorry), I was worried no one would get this as most people look forward to summer holidays all year while I dread them 😅 Not long to go now 🙏
Hi Lucy, i do feel for you and have been reflecting on your post. I too work in the hospitality industry, albeit only renting out a small apartment in my home ( i do all the cleaning and laundry which is not unenjoyable making it nice for guests but also a little taxing by the time mid August comes around). Actually, i can afford to hold off on a few weeks’ let in this season because i can find that some people can be ***holes! It has also given me a chance to get on top of the mould which usually runs rampant when i keep the heating off in summer and condensation doesn’t evaporate. I could inform your guests who complain that it usually takes a strong application of unpleasant -smelling bleach over a 12 hour application! Hey ho…. ‘Complainers’ are rare and it is usually to do with their own sad and constrained lives not about you…
Then, as i was contemplating the difficulties of life, up comes a directive from a fb friend who made me see it in a different light so i thought i would share the spiel with you…..
"We don’t have to go to Tibet or into a war zone to practice in a charnel ground.
"The charnel ground is a metaphor for any environment where suffering is present—a Japanese hospital, a school room, a violent home, a mental institution, a homeless shelter, a refugee camp. Even a space of privilege, like the corporate boardroom or Wall Street trading floor, can be a charnel ground. Really, any place that is tainted by fear, depression, anger, despair, disrespect, or deceit is a charnel ground—including our own mind...
When we suffer within our own internal charnel ground, we are vulnerable to pathological altruism, empathic distress, moral suffering, disrespect, and burnout. But when we take a wider and deeper view, we see that a charnel ground is not only a place of desolation but also a place of boundless possibility.
My colleague Fleet Maull, who was incarcerated for 14 years on charges of drug trafficking, compares his experience of practicing meditation in prison to practicing in a charnel ground. The prison is a tough practice environment, one where greed, hatred, and delusion are the order of the day. Yet this charnel ground proved something to him.
In his book Dharma in Hell, Fleet Maull writes,
“I’m thoroughly convinced after spending fourteen years in prison with murderers, rapists, bank robbers, child molesters, tax dodgers, drug dealers and every sort of criminal imaginable, that the fundamental nature of all human beings is good. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind .”
~ Joan Halifax
Good times and bad, we go with ourselves everywhere.. We can’t avoid these waves but can we ride through them with equanimity? I honestly don’t know. Maybe it means exclaiming with joy or frustration and then move on? You’ve got a goal and working to a plan and…. September is fast approaching! Wishing you smooth sailing for the rest of the year anyway.🙏😘
Hi Isabelle, thank you for the thoughtful and detailed comment, I always look forward to hearing your thoughts 😊 It sounds like we're in really similar situations, fortunately 99% of my apartment guests are lovely and respectful, it's the guests who rent our camper van who are more likely to be a nightmare! It flips between worthwhile and not at all so often. I love the quote from your friend, a lot of food for thought there. I think I always imagined I would choose my own charnel ground, as in facing epic challenges, but then realising I find the most difficulty in the stationary and mundane everyday life difficulties, or realising I've entrapped myself in something that was supposed to be freeing. There's always something to learn from a situation, even if it's just that you never want to repeat it! And there are many different types of charnel ground as you say, even the most unexpected. We're hoping to end the summer with a camping trip and perhaps a good old scream into the void on the beach to release the summer tension! I hope your apartment continues to do well and September is kind to you 💙
Feeling this in my bones right now. Hang in there. Almost September 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Thank you! I’m so glad you can relate (and also sorry), I was worried no one would get this as most people look forward to summer holidays all year while I dread them 😅 Not long to go now 🙏